Conversations about feminism are incredibly important! They will make you more knowledgeable. Respectful conversations are fun and inspiring. Just talking about feminism will help you educate others too!
Sometimes important conversations make people feel nervous and defensive. Sometimes you may feel frustrated when talking about feminism with people that disagree with your views. Specially when people lose their cool and can even be disrespectful. Don’t worry, we’ve all been there and you are not alone! Take a deep breath, and check out our cheatsheet.
Sometimes important conversations make people feel nervous and defensive. Sometimes you may feel frustrated when talking about feminism with people that disagree with your views. Specially when people lose their cool and can even be disrespectful. Don’t worry, we’ve all been there and you are not alone! Take a deep breath, and check out our cheatsheet.
"Nowadays women have it easy . They are in much better place than they were years ago. so you shouldn't be complaining."
It’s true that women are in a better place, but that doesn't mean that they are good enough. Violence against women, wage gap, regulating maternity leave, sexual assault, reproductive rights… these are policy issues only because of the feminists that work hard to bring them to the table. And we haven´t even gotten to trans rights and the overwhelming violence they face. Cis men have set the rules of the world we live in for thousands of years. Women everywhere still need to prove that they are like men in a world that is not constructed to serve their interests. Men have set the rules of the world we live in for thousands of years. Men don’t need to prove they are like women, because in our society being a women is still considered weak and degrading.
"I am not a feminist because I don't think women are better than men. Defending women over men is just as bad as defending men over women."
This is the biggest misconception there is about feminism. Feminism means defending equal rights for women. It doesn't mean that women are better than men, that they deserve more than men, or that men should be hated. As bell hooks puts it, feminism is “a movement to end sexist oppression”.
"Feminists are man-haters"
Lies! Feminist are not h8rs at all. A feminist spreads love, justice and empowerment across all humans regardless of gender. Anybody can be a feminist, as long as they believe in ending sexist oppression. A feminist spreads love, justice and empowerment across all humans regardless of gender.
"Don't you think the world has bigger problems to focus on, like wars, poverty, or climate change or whatever?"
All struggles are connected! Climate change is connected with corporate power: pollution happens when big corporations are allowed to do so . Wars are connected with economy: wars can start if small groups of powerful people (mainly men by the way!) can make a profit out of it. Feminism is based on principles of social equality and justice. Women and LGBTQ people are often more vulnerable to social inequality, as they have lower paying jobs and often carry the burden of being family caretakers. As long as women are kept in the sidelines of decision making, social change will not happen.
"Feminist women don't wear makeup or care about how they look. I love fashion and care about looking pretty so feminism is not for me."
Everyone in the world - and feminists too of course- enjoy looking and feeling attractive. Feminist women can wear makeup and pretty outfits and look hot. If they want to! It's just not mandatory to do so. Also feminism advocacy on expanding beauty standards is very liberating and allows to feel beautiful no matter how your body looks like. Depicting feminist as ugly crazies is just another sexist trick to discourage women from being empowered.
"the word 'feminist' sounds like it is only about females. Why not Egalitarianism or We’re-All-the-Same-inism?"
Those won’t do. Yes, feminism is based on the belief of gender equality, but a term like "egalitarianism" is not an adequate substitute. It doesn't acknowledge that there is an existing system of inequality in which men are favored by our society. One of the best definitions is that of author bell hooks': "feminism is the struggle to end sexist oppression". Feminism doesn't just describe a belief system, feminism requires action. Feminism is struggle, advocacy and not being passive.
"Feminists are lesbians"
Well, yes. Sure. Some are. Some are not. Feminists can be of any sexual orientation. People that that tend to point out sexual orientation in the middle of an argument about feminism either are confused about feminism or feel that their masculinity is being threatened by empowered ladies.
TIP- If any of these arguments are provided by a hetereosexual man and you are a woman: When it comes to discussing feminism, it is not possible for you to fully understand what my perspective as a woman is because you are not one. I have been treated in a certain way all of my life based on my gender, just as you have been treated in a certain way for yours. So rather than you telling me how I should feel about women, listen to what I have to say from my own experience.